Monologues

WHAT?!

$0.99

MALE
COMEDIC

20-45
YEARS OLD

Okay, now I’m going to talk. I heard you. I have quietly considered your explanation. The problem is, I’m still stuck on one of the first things you said before your filibuster. You said (Shouting hysterically) “SURPRISE!” (Suddenly calm), which indicates that you recall our agreement and knew that this would be a magnificent shock. This is one of those moments you dream about, but such things never quite go the same as dreams. In my dreams I rarely become the (age)-year-old advertisement to teenagers for what NOT to do! PREGNANT?! Didn’t we go to our respective doctors and get tested for all manner and variety of crotch rot? We practically got sprayed by the Orkin Man in all our cracks and crevices. Did we not research and discuss ad nauseam and every draconian and modern form of birth control, specifically for the purposes of using the aforementioned pregnancy prevention? Or was that just a bonding experience for you?…..

This is an excerpt/preview. You will be able to download the entire monologue once purchased.

  • Written by: Jessie McLaren

Description

Okay, now I’m going to talk. I heard you. I have quietly considered your explanation. The problem is, I’m still stuck on one of the first things you said before your filibuster. You said (Shouting hysterically) “SURPRISE!” (Suddenly calm), which indicates that you recall our agreement and knew that this would be a magnificent shock. This is one of those moments you dream about, but such things never quite go the same as dreams. In my dreams I rarely become the (age)-year-old advertisement to teenagers for what NOT to do! PREGNANT?! Didn’t we go to our respective doctors and get tested for all manner and variety of crotch rot? We practically got sprayed by the Orkin Man in all our cracks and crevices. Did we not research and discuss ad nauseam and every draconian and modern form of birth control, specifically for the purposes of using the aforementioned pregnancy prevention? Or was that just a bonding experience for you?…..

This is an excerpt/preview. You will be able to download the entire monologue once purchased.

  • Written by: Jessie McLaren