Dude, I’m dead. My Mom’s going to come into my room tonight after she finds out and she’s going to kill me. And if that doesn’t stick, she’s going to put me on a plane and send me off to live with my Uncle Morris who smokes thirty cigars a day and showers once a month. I’m going to be his smelly little cigar boy. (Beat) Awwwe man, what the hell am I gonna do? This guitar cost her four thousand bucks! She only gave it to me two months before my birthday because she thinks I aced that calculus exam, but I really just turned a D minus into an A. Don’t ask me how, bro. Oh God!! Look at it!!! My sweet and beautiful Caroline! I thought the whammy bar was supposed to turn like that, not go whammy-cablammy freakin’ crazy!!! I guess I could hide the evidence from her until I raise the money to have it fixed. Yeah, but then what if she asks why I haven’t been playing?…Shit!…I could tell her…..
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- Written by: Amanda B. Goodman