Monologues

QUALIFIED CANDIDATE

$0.99

FEMALE
COMEDIC
2min
23-35
YEARS OLD

It’s a great question, Mr. Andrews! Thank you so much for asking! What makes me a qualified candidate to display the shoes here at Target? Oh my…so many things!…uh…well, I worked with a meth head. During my internship in my final year of college. Debbie Mitchell. I was so jealous of her! She was so thin – I was so jealous! Haha! I never did it because of what it did to her skin. But ya know? Thinking back…just a little make-up made the sores almost unnoticeable. She wore a vintage 2000 lace Luis Vuitton dress to our internship completion awards ceremony. I mean, you get the significance. It was a pencil dress! Like a pencil skirt, but a full dress! It was made for a human to fit into, but of course, she fit into it! And she looked great! She won the “Most-Envelopes-Stuffed-In-The-Least-Amount-Of-Time Award.” I think she stuffed like 500 envelopes in under an hour; I swear to fucking God…..

This is an excerpt/preview. You will be able to download the entire monologue once purchased.

  • Written by: Mara Lee Gilbert

Description

It’s a great question, Mr. Andrews! Thank you so much for asking! What makes me a qualified candidate to display the shoes here at Target? Oh my…so many things!…uh…well, I worked with a meth head. During my internship in my final year of college. Debbie Mitchell. I was so jealous of her! She was so thin – I was so jealous! Haha! I never did it because of what it did to her skin. But ya know? Thinking back…just a little make-up made the sores almost unnoticeable. She wore a vintage 2000 lace Luis Vuitton dress to our internship completion awards ceremony. I mean, you get the significance. It was a pencil dress! Like a pencil skirt, but a full dress! It was made for a human to fit into, but of course, she fit into it! And she looked great! She won the “Most-Envelopes-Stuffed-In-The-Least-Amount-Of-Time Award.” I think she stuffed like 500 envelopes in under an hour; I swear to fucking God…..

This is an excerpt/preview. You will be able to download the entire monologue once purchased.

  • Written by: Mara Lee Gilbert