Monologues

PLAIN AS PLAIN

$0.99

MALE/
FEMALE
COMEDIC

15-40
YEARS OLD

Excuse me? Excuse me. Excuse me. There seems to be some confusion here. I ordered plain. Yes. No, it’s not. No, it’s not. No, it’s not. I saw them put cheese on it. I don’t have to open it. I saw. Can you just please have them make me a plain one? Thank-you. No, not that one. I don’t want a pre-made one. It’ll have pickles on it. The last time I got pickles, and I hate pickles. They infect the taste. You can’t even cover it with ketchup. Have them make a fresh one. Well, please ask them to break the rules. I hate pickles.

You know, I don’t understand why this has to be so difficult. See the receipt? It says double burger to go, plain. And what always happens is, I get down the street, open it up, and find pickles on it, or cheese, and not even cheese just on top. It’s melted between the patties, so you can’t even scrape it off…..

This is an excerpt/preview. You will be able to download the entire monologue once purchased.

  • Written by: Joyce Storey

Description

Excuse me? Excuse me. Excuse me. There seems to be some confusion here. I ordered plain. Yes. No, it’s not. No, it’s not. No, it’s not. I saw them put cheese on it. I don’t have to open it. I saw. Can you just please have them make me a plain one? Thank-you. No, not that one. I don’t want a pre-made one. It’ll have pickles on it. The last time I got pickles, and I hate pickles. They infect the taste. You can’t even cover it with ketchup. Have them make a fresh one. Well, please ask them to break the rules. I hate pickles.

You know, I don’t understand why this has to be so difficult. See the receipt? It says double burger to go, plain. And what always happens is, I get down the street, open it up, and find pickles on it, or cheese, and not even cheese just on top. It’s melted between the patties, so you can’t even scrape it off…..

This is an excerpt/preview. You will be able to download the entire monologue once purchased.

  • Written by: Joyce Storey