Mighty Morphine Power Rangers, can you please find out where the damn doctor is??!! (Beat) Hey, what happened to you? That thing on your hand, that doesn’t look too good…you should go to the hospital about that…oh right! This thing down here…well, it’s agony. See my big brother Jason over there, well tonight, that asshole convinced me to hang with his friends and play a drinking game. Did you ever hear about the one called “Splatter-Splash?” No? Well in short, it involves shots of Tequila mixed with Tabasco sauce and pickled peppers. Oh yeah, and the throwing of little knives across the room at one another! Anyway, all was going well until I tripped over Jason’s stash of Honey Gal magazines that he left in messy pile near his bed and fell right on top of one of his friends’ pocketknives. It was one of the ones with the little screwy things attached to it. Well, I guess you can see it sticking out of my rib right now, huh? (Begins to pick at it) Ooo it’s shinier than I remember! But shit, this thing stings like a bee…..
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- Written by: Amanda B. Goodman