Monologues

JEANNIE

$0.99

MALE
COMEDIC
2min
20-70
YEARS OLD

Did I ever tell you about Jeannie? We had a…I don’t know what…but we had it. She threatened to tell Dita. Every time the phone rang…every ring…the sound…Oh God…the sound cut through me like an unclean knife. What if it was Jeannie? What if it was her? And Dita answered the phone. What then? What would happen then? When their two voices met. (Mimics Dita’s Austrian accent) “Hello?” (Mimics Jeannie – nasal Jersey girl) “Is this Dita?” (Dita)
“Yes. To whom am I speaking?” (Jeannie) “Uh…is Ken around?” (Dita) “Who is this?” (Jeannie) “Jeannie.” (Dita) “And you want Ken?” (Jeannie) “I do.” (Dita) “My Ken?” (Jeannie – seductive) “I want him.” (Dita)
“Is this work related?” (Jeannie) “No.” (Dita)
“Do you work at Elliot?” (Jeannie) “I do.” (Dita)
“And it’s not work related?” (Jeannie)
“No. It’s of a personal nature.” (Dita) “Personal? Who is this?” (Jeannie)
“Jeannie. If Kenny is there…” (Dita) “Kenny?” (Jeannie) “Yes.” (Dita)
“Only I call Ken Kenny. Only I do!” (Jeannie) “I don’t call. I whisper.” (Jeannie whispers) “Oh, Kenny, oh!” (Dita’s voice in German) “FRESSEL, ARSLOCH!” (Means “Shut it, asshole!”) (Jeannie’s seductive voice)…..

This is an excerpt/preview. You will be able to download the entire monologue once purchased.

  • Written by: Mark Levine

Description

Did I ever tell you about Jeannie? We had a…I don’t know what…but we had it. She threatened to tell Dita. Every time the phone rang…every ring…the sound…Oh God…the sound cut through me like an unclean knife. What if it was Jeannie? What if it was her? And Dita answered the phone. What then? What would happen then? When their two voices met. (Mimics Dita’s Austrian accent) “Hello?” (Mimics Jeannie – nasal Jersey girl) “Is this Dita?” (Dita)
“Yes. To whom am I speaking?” (Jeannie) “Uh…is Ken around?” (Dita) “Who is this?” (Jeannie) “Jeannie.” (Dita) “And you want Ken?” (Jeannie) “I do.” (Dita) “My Ken?” (Jeannie – seductive) “I want him.” (Dita)
“Is this work related?” (Jeannie) “No.” (Dita)
“Do you work at Elliot?” (Jeannie) “I do.” (Dita)
“And it’s not work related?” (Jeannie)
“No. It’s of a personal nature.” (Dita) “Personal? Who is this?” (Jeannie)
“Jeannie. If Kenny is there…” (Dita) “Kenny?” (Jeannie) “Yes.” (Dita)
“Only I call Ken Kenny. Only I do!” (Jeannie) “I don’t call. I whisper.” (Jeannie whispers) “Oh, Kenny, oh!” (Dita’s voice in German) “FRESSEL, ARSLOCH!” (Means “Shut it, asshole!”) (Jeannie’s seductive voice)…..

This is an excerpt/preview. You will be able to download the entire monologue once purchased.

  • Written by: Mark Levine