Monologues

DON’T BRING SCHNAPPS

$0.99

FEMALE
COMEDIC
2min
28-40
YEARS OLD

Hi Sheila! Good morning. Fun holiday party Saturday night, huh? (Beat) OK, let’s get this over with. I was very drunk and some things were said that I can’t quite take back. Jesus, where do I start? OK, well first off, I do not think you got a botched boob job. They are very tight and completely symmetrical to one another…a very well done breast job, actually. Um, oh the thing about you and Bill in accounting. Shit, well that part was kind of true, but my telling everyone about the stained check incident, well, that was just vicious and I apologize for bringing that to public fruition. That was not cool and very gross, actually. Uhh, OH, the shriveled vagina comment, that was crude, and possibly not geared at you. I think I meant to say that to Jacob from the ground floor but I was already ranting about you, so I just went with it. Sheila, when alcohol and long, super underpaid work hours encompassing your everyday…..

This is an excerpt/preview. You will be able to download the entire monologue once purchased.

  • Written by: Amanda B. Goodman

Description

Hi Sheila! Good morning. Fun holiday party Saturday night, huh? (Beat) OK, let’s get this over with. I was very drunk and some things were said that I can’t quite take back. Jesus, where do I start? OK, well first off, I do not think you got a botched boob job. They are very tight and completely symmetrical to one another…a very well done breast job, actually. Um, oh the thing about you and Bill in accounting. Shit, well that part was kind of true, but my telling everyone about the stained check incident, well, that was just vicious and I apologize for bringing that to public fruition. That was not cool and very gross, actually. Uhh, OH, the shriveled vagina comment, that was crude, and possibly not geared at you. I think I meant to say that to Jacob from the ground floor but I was already ranting about you, so I just went with it. Sheila, when alcohol and long, super underpaid work hours encompassing your everyday…..

This is an excerpt/preview. You will be able to download the entire monologue once purchased.

  • Written by: Amanda B. Goodman