I went over there and my intention was strong and crystal clear, just like you told me: To let him know that I feel very devalued by him and to explain how, so that he could understand what to do with that information. I felt prepared; I was no longer angry, so that I could speak calmly, but I reminded myself of the importance of my feelings, so that I could speak with authority on behalf of myself. I was NOT going to have sex with him until my point was made, and ONLY if my point was made and heard and understood. He opened the door. I walked in. And I was so prepared! But then, I don’t know what happened! We started with small talk; he gave me a drink and led me to the couch. I said, “So, you were kind of an asshole last time I saw you.” And he said, “Please tell me how.” And he looked at me so earnestly! So I felt really good about telling him, “I don’t feel you listen to me…..
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- Written by: Mara Lee Gilbert