University applications sure want to know a lot about you, Mom. I didn’t know where you got your Ph.D. so I Googled it. How come they’re so interested in you? I’m the one applying to their school. I mean, you went to college like a hundred years ago. I don’t see how that’s relevant today. Do you think I can just give them a link to your website and skip over all these historical questions? They expect me to have this ridiculous G.P.A. but they’re cutting into my study time. Is that really fair? I think I’ll write a letter to the Provost and complain. Is he the head guy? I like the word. Provost. It sounds cool. Sort of like a proactive host, like a V.J. on MTV or something. Maybe he can give me tips on how to get into the hosting business. Wouldn’t it be cool if I landed a reality show or something? It would be a lot of fun and I wouldn’t have to worry about a student loan. I could make fortunes on endorsements. Maybe I could be the spokesperson for Nike or Taco Bell or something…..
This is an excerpt/preview. You will be able to download the entire monologue once purchased.
- Written by: Joyce Storey