I love him like a fat kid loves cake. Sounds like something a clichéd comic might say? Well baby, clichés are for people who aren’t visionaries. I love him like a fat kid loves cake and I freaking love cake like I love my boyfriend. I don’t know what it is, but food and passion just can’t seem to separate from each other. Whenever I see onion rings, grease dripping onto the plate and all, I just think two things: A) When is he going to put one on my actual finger and B) Can we get seconds delivered to our table because I am HUNGRY!! Or how about melting chocolate? OH MY GOOOOODDDDD!!!! Can we talk about this for a second? Okay, so first off, it’s the sexiest thing to be with your man and to have something warm and lickable all up in your grill…but when it’s on the other persons’ grill…HELLO SUGAR RUSH!!! I don’t know what it is, but food, love, sex, romance, desire, my insulin levels racing against my sex drive in the hoo-haw excitement Indie 500, it’s all just so adjacent to one another, you know? I love him, I love him, I freaking love him, okay? He’s my gooey Louie…..
This is an excerpt/preview. You will be able to download the entire monologue once purchased.
- Written by: Amanda B. Goodman