Monologues

CAT IN HEAT

$0.99

MALE
COMEDIC
2min
25-50
YEARS OLD

(Desperate, pathetic) OH, COME on Gary, one more dive bar. Wasn’t this the point? You’re my go-to, my person, my platonic husband, for Pete’s sake. You don’t know…Well, you DO, since Tatiana dumped you, too, but at least that was for a lipstick lesbian. I’ll officially be single once we go before the judge at 8:30 am. It’s only 11. Don’t wimp out on me now, you pansy lightweight. Come ON! I’m not used to the new apartment yet or the cat. I can’t go home and face Reggie, I mean ReGINA (Like vagina). I didn’t KNOW she was a she cat ‘til she began whining and growling while doing Gumbie-Plays-The-Cello on her lady parts. She keeps stalking the furniture and my leg vag (Pronounced vaj) first. She hated me before she went into heat, but now I’m her prospect. It’s so depressing…..

This is an excerpt/preview. You will be able to download the entire monologue once purchased.

  • Written by: Jessie McLaren

Description

(Desperate, pathetic) OH, COME on Gary, one more dive bar. Wasn’t this the point? You’re my go-to, my person, my platonic husband, for Pete’s sake. You don’t know…Well, you DO, since Tatiana dumped you, too, but at least that was for a lipstick lesbian. I’ll officially be single once we go before the judge at 8:30 am. It’s only 11. Don’t wimp out on me now, you pansy lightweight. Come ON! I’m not used to the new apartment yet or the cat. I can’t go home and face Reggie, I mean ReGINA (Like vagina). I didn’t KNOW she was a she cat ‘til she began whining and growling while doing Gumbie-Plays-The-Cello on her lady parts. She keeps stalking the furniture and my leg vag (Pronounced vaj) first. She hated me before she went into heat, but now I’m her prospect. It’s so depressing…..

This is an excerpt/preview. You will be able to download the entire monologue once purchased.

  • Written by: Jessie McLaren