Monologues

BABYSITTER WARS

$0.99

FEMALE
COMEDIC
2min
25-45
YEARS OLD

Johnny, stop hitting my boyfriend’s head with the “Star Wars” light saber and listen to me. I have something to tell you, Young Skywalker. (Turns to her boyfriend) You okay, Frank? Good. Go to the bathroom and wipe the blood off your nose. And give Johnny and me a moment. And, please put your pants back on. (Holds up photo) I didn’t want to do this Johnny…but your treatment of Frank, the love of my life, leaves me no choice. See this photo, Johnny? This beautiful photo of you, your mom, your dad, and your little white poodle, Obi-Wan Kenobi? Well Johnny, this beautiful family isn’t your real family. (Upset) Johnny, I’m your babysitter. I wouldn’t lie to you. (Shows folded up papers) I found these adoption papers in your mom’s – well, in your fake mom’s – panty drawer. Don’t cry, Johnny. There’s good news, too. Johnny, please stop choking Obi-Wan Kenobi and listen to me…..

This is an excerpt/preview. You will be able to download the entire monologue once purchased.

  • Written by: Bobby Holder

Description

Johnny, stop hitting my boyfriend’s head with the “Star Wars” light saber and listen to me. I have something to tell you, Young Skywalker. (Turns to her boyfriend) You okay, Frank? Good. Go to the bathroom and wipe the blood off your nose. And give Johnny and me a moment. And, please put your pants back on. (Holds up photo) I didn’t want to do this Johnny…but your treatment of Frank, the love of my life, leaves me no choice. See this photo, Johnny? This beautiful photo of you, your mom, your dad, and your little white poodle, Obi-Wan Kenobi? Well Johnny, this beautiful family isn’t your real family. (Upset) Johnny, I’m your babysitter. I wouldn’t lie to you. (Shows folded up papers) I found these adoption papers in your mom’s – well, in your fake mom’s – panty drawer. Don’t cry, Johnny. There’s good news, too. Johnny, please stop choking Obi-Wan Kenobi and listen to me…..

This is an excerpt/preview. You will be able to download the entire monologue once purchased.

  • Written by: Bobby Holder