I went over the hill once. A.W.O.L. for a week. The Shore Patrol found me sprawled out in a Topless Bar downtown. I was blind on gin and attacked one of the dancers. Some S.O.B., if I ever catch him I’ll kill him, sneaked up behind me and cracked a beer bottle over my head. It took thirty-three stitches to close up my scalp. I got thirty days in the Brig, which counts as bad time against me, added to my hitch. I gotta get out of here. At least if I had a decent job. This is sissy’s work I’m doing. I’m like some damn maid. If I was working up front in the E.R., that’d be different. I’d get to see some stabbings and car accidents. Know what I get to do in the delivery room? I tie the doctor’s gown. Unwrap the sterile instruments. Open a package of rubber gloves. Make sure the oxygen tank is full. Mop up the floor making sure not to leave any clots. Some of these doctors can be pretty messy. I mean, they’re not the ones who are going to do the cleaning up afterwards…..
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- Written by: Mark Levine