I was staring into my coffee-cup. The steam hypnotizes me and I begin ruminating over us – disagreements, missed opportunities, sex that’s always missing something, you pulling away first when we hug – or screw, for that matter. Feeling unheard, misunderstood, missing each other in the air so often that we eat and breathe quiet frustration and contempt. I realized I’ve been here repeatedly, trying to construct a new path for us, a way to start over, get that spark back or make it work. But we can’t make more than two days in a row work. I thought back to our dating relationship and it hit me that we never really dated. It’s like we both wanted something desperately and blindly assumed the other would fit into the vision, stuffing each other into invisible molds ‘til we’d convinced ourselves; distracted by our relief and our hoping and dreaming of what was to come…..
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- Written by: Jessie McLaren