You think I dreamed of being a flat-footed stiff whose most exciting moment in life is the day I got a new calculator? Well, I must admit that did kinda give me a chill. It’s sexy like a Steinway with its punchy click click click. The faster the better. I’m a speed demon! I’m a super hero! I have a cape but I never wear it in public. Clark Kent would never tip his hand like that. He’d hide in a phone booth but these days they’re hard to find. You can’t hide behind a cell phone, so I’ll have to perfect my superhero routine. I’ll leap tall buildings in a single bound! Well, maybe not that tall. I was never good in gym class and I projectile vomit over heights so we’ll scratch that. And I have this asthma thing, so running might be out of the question. My mom got me a puffer when I was a kid. – I love my mom. That’s why I still live at home. – And I saved it! My first puffer. I saved all of them. I used to line them up on my bed and make capes for them, my superhero army. I liked counting them…..
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- Written by: Joyce Storey