One last kiss and then that’s it. I can’t do this anymore, with you and the lips and the smoochie “Hello, my nether regions are saying hi,” thing. It’s toxic. YOU are toxic. I mean, sure, you’re a swell dancer and a well-read Yale graduate with the vocabulary of a Webster descendant, but so what?!!! I can’t be in this relationship with you anymore. I need more than sex and a healthy body of hair, God your hair feels good…NO!!! I mean: No, your hair is just hair and it doesn’t mean anything. Even if it does make my fingers feel like they’re touching the sun. Oh God. No. We have to break up because I’m failing at life being with you. Yeah, that’s right. Since this thing with you and me, I lost my job, my sister kicked me out of her basement because she says I cater more to my vagina than my mind, and I’ve gained sixteen pounds…..
This is an excerpt/preview. You will be able to download the entire monologue once purchased.
- Written by: Amanda B. Goodman