• FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    2min
    18-25
    YEARS OLD
    Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been…a while. By the way, love this, “Possible Sins Committed,” pamphlet. I do have questions. It says, “Abused Drugs.” Does that include Advil, Midol, Tylenol? Period cramps are a bitch! 2 pills are never enough. I usually have to pop at least 4 from my secret stash in my locker. Wait, you’re not going to alert the administration? This is confidential. You’d be going against God by ratting me out. Okay, moving on. “Made bad decisions with boys.” Is that just sex and handsy stuff or could it be,.......
    Price $3.99


  • FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    2min
    20-30
    YEARS OLD
    Liquoring me up isn’t going to numb the pain of your rejection! I can’t believe I come here and pour my heart and soul out to you. And what do I get? “Let’s Be Friends.” Friends? FRIENDS!! What is this really about? Is it because I share the same name as your mother…Because she is known as the Virgin Mary and I’m just Mary Magdalene? And you don’t think I know people talk? I hear the whispers. They call me a whore. The other week they threatened to st.......
    Price $3.99


  • FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    2min
    20-30
    YEARS OLD
    You are a lifeguard! You’re supposed to be guarding my life and right now you’re doing a pretty bad job. No offense. A jellyfish stung me! On your watch, buddy. What are you going to do about it? No, I don’t want you to spray vinegar on me. I need urine but none of my friends or family members offered to pee on me. So, you’re up. Drop the trunks. What? It helps with the pain. Something about the ammonia. It was on an episode of Friends. Chandler pees on Monica when she gets stung. S.......
    Price $3.99


  • FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    2min
    20-30
    YEARS OLD
    OMG BABE!! I had the craziest conversation with my mother the other day. I was telling her that we were thinking about visiting them this weekend and she was like, “Oh no, you can’t. We’re not gonna be around.” And I’m all, “What do you mean you’re not gonna be around? What could be more important than seeing your favorite child?” And before she could respond I was like, “Wait a minute; time out! Are you going to Atlantic City again?” Yeah, that’s right. Those two crazy kids are going up to the casino for.......
    Price $3.99


  • FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    2min
    20-30
    YEARS OLD
    Mother, trying on your wedding dress isn’t fun. I look ridiculous. I get it. I totally get it. You think that I should be getting married by now. Well, that’s a lot of pressure!!! Being in your mid-twenties is pressure enough. But now this? Finding a soul mate, the one, my lobster? I mean, I can’t go on Facebook these days without it popping up into my newsfeed that someone is engaged, or they’re married or they’re pregnant or they’ve popped out another kid. Facebook is just a constant reminder that I am an unmarried spinster. And okay, I’m not helping the situation. I do tend to date the .......
    Price $3.99


  • FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    2min
    20-30
    YEARS OLD
    I’m gonna try being a lesbian for a while. Of course I can try! Samantha from “Sex and the City” did. I’ve done some reflecting lately. And it was while I was indulging in a bowl of fresh guacamole that I had this epiphany. I remembered what you always say…“How do I know I don’t like something unless I try it?” Once upon a time I hated guacamole until I tried it. So how do I know I don’t like girls unless I try dating them? Recently all the men I meet are the same with their commit.......
    Price $3.99


  • FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    2min
    20-30
    YEARS OLD
    A stripper kicked me in the eye! VEGAS! Look, I was minding my own business when I noticed that the guy in the booth next to us had two strippers dancing on him. That’s just greedy, you know? What about all the other sad, lonely men? One of the strippers was impressive. She had her leg up on the divider like this. (mimics stripper by holding leg up and attempts dancing with her leg raised, but badly) I used to be a dancer. I didn’t think anything of it, laughed a little and went back to .......
    Price $3.99