• MALE/
    FEMALE
    DRAMATIC
    1min
    20-50
    YEARS OLD
    Any moment with you. Before you asked me, "If I had to relive one moment over and over again for eternity, what would it be?" I'd pick any moment with you. Any one. I don't care if I'm crying or you're breaking my heart… I could live in a moment for a th.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    2min
    20-55
    YEARS OLD
    Do I look like someone you could talk to? Do I give off a “best friend” aura or some other welcoming energy that reads, “Please tell me all your problems, each one of your wildest dreams, beginning with childhood...”? Do you get that from me? Do you feel safe letting me into your life? To your story from beginning to end? What, specifically about me, who for the record, is a.......
    Price $3.99


  • FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    2min
    20-40
    YEARS OLD
    Hello, Dr. Listenberg. Okay, so when I wake up, I realize that my "super" pad isn't really in a superlative mood because I've bled through my sheets. Good morning! Oh come on, we're in the ER. There's worse things than this. Like that guy! He definitely needs immediate attention because that shouldn't be hanging from there. Right?! Are you gonna go look at him? You can come back to me after. I don't think I'm doing as ba.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    2min
    18-65
    YEARS OLD
    So, when I got fired 3 weeks, 2 days, 8 hours and 47 seconds ago, I was pretty messed up. Below rock bottom. And as I was replaying my termination over in my head, I thought, “This story sucks. It's so pathetic. It has no vroom.” I mean, fire me like a badass because if you're not going to do it with some damn compassion, then Ja.......
    Price $3.99


  • FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    1min
    17-35
    YEARS OLD
    Dr. Phillip, I'm here today because of “Mr. I Don't Love My Girlfriend.” Strike 1: He's looking at every girl's ass that walks by without even trying to hide it. Strike 2: He's on the phone texting and smiling. I wanted to be like, "Yo! Who the hell are you so happy to text at 7:46 in the morning, Jake?!" But I didn't say anythin.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    2min
    40-60
    YEARS OLD
    I still don’t like tomatoes. They’re still yucky and gross, and in all my years of living I have not once enjoyed them unless they were in their angelic form as packets of ketchup. My mom swears they will surely be an ingredient in the cure for cancer. Just yesterday she offered to come over and make dinner - I should’ve known something was up from that suggestion alone - I've been cooking for myself for the last thirty- something ye.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    2min
    21-55
    YEARS OLD
    Your honor, I don't understand why I'm here. I've done nothing wrong. I'm talking about the fact that I’m sitting here watching my life slip away in some weird outer body experience. Give me the death penalty instead. I would rather die than sit here next to these defective humans. Kevin spreads grass on his lunch because he believes it's m.......
    Price $3.99


  • FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    2min
    25-45
    YEARS OLD
    Terrorist: A person who terrorizes or frightens others. Let me be the first to admit: Children are terrorists. The sky is blue, our bodies need water, and children are masters of terrorism. I understand children are overwhelmingly adorable. They say cute things in cute voices while wearing cute outfits, but looks can be deceiving! Their primary objective is to break you down to the point of slight insanity. First of all, labor in itself is exactly like the battle between Bane and Batman in The Dark Knig.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    2min
    20-50
    YEARS OLD
    So, I saw this post on Instagram that said, "If a writer falls in love with you, you can never die." That is, of course, unless you have a bad breakup. Then you will certainly die a most horrible death. Guaranteed. It will probably begin with some antagonizing alliteration where alligators delightfully devour your semi lifeless limbs like a delicious appetizer. Or they could strip you and expose your naked truth and proceed to rape your soul, figuratively speaking, of course. They could delve into the details o.......
    Price $3.99


  • FEMALE
    DRAMATIC
    2min
    20-35
    YEARS OLD
    I love you. I enjoy being with you; I enjoy our laughter. I like seeing you smile, especially when it lights up your whole face. I love you. I do. But sometimes it’s not enough. It’s not enough to outweigh all the things I don’t say. In my deepest silences I’m afraid to admit the truth because I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to hurt you. If anyone should get hurt, it should be me because I c.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    DRAMATIC
    1min
    20-35
    YEARS OLD
    I like being vulnerable. I know most people are scared of it, but I actually enjoy it. I enjoy being open. The possibility of being hurt doesn’t frighten me. The risk actually excites me in a way when I think about it. It’s a rush. To entrust someone with your heart. Don’t get me wrong, my heart.......
    Price $3.99


  • FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    2min
    20-40
    YEARS OLD
    Hi, it's so nice to meet you. Thank you. You look lovely as well. But um, let's go ahead and cut to the chase. Why waste years putting our best feet forward only to suffer the inevitable nervous breakdown when we get to know the "real” us? I wanna know your worst. What's the worst thing about you? Fine, I’ll start... I don't brush my teeth everyday. There's days when I'm running late and I gargle coffee and pop some bubble gum to make up for it. Speakin.......
    Price $3.99