• MALE/
    FEMALE
    DRAMATIC
    2min
    7-14
    YEARS OLD
    Last night I heard my mom and dad talking about Roger. He’s been my very best friend since I was born. He is always happy to see me. He licks my face as soon as I get home from school. I used to take him outside every day, but he doesn’t want to go for walks anymore. When I get his leash and say, “Come on, boy, let’s go for a walk” he still gets excited. He wags his tail and looks at me, but th.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    DRAMATIC
    2min
    9-16
    YEARS OLD
    Well, I think that went pretty well. I mean, I don’t think I was actually brilliant, but I think I did okay. There were four more people than they need for the team. Those are pretty good odds. Aren’t they? Only four of us will not make the team… What if they don’t pick me? Maybe I did totally suck! How embarrassing to be one of only four that doesn’t get picked. Only four!! I really wish hundreds of kids had come to the try-out. It would be way le.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    2min
    7-14
    YEARS OLD
    You already know that the best way to kill a vampire is to drive a wooden stake into its heart. You’d have to get pretty close to the vampire, though. Probably, you’d get bitten yourself in the process… It might be worth it, though, if say, the vampire was going after somebody really cute that I wanted to impress. That would be very noble, and becoming a vampire myself would actually be pretty cool…. But usually, you want to save yourself from a vampire. .......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    1min
    11-16
    YEARS OLD
    I don’t get art. We went on a field trip to this museum and the teacher showed us a picture of some guy with a face made of a shovel. I dunno, I guess someone thought it was cool cuz the curator guy said it’s worth a bunch of thousands of dollars, but I have no idea why. Imagine if he’d used a pitchfork or maybe a rake! What would that be worth? Hey, maybe the guy should make a whole series of ‘em. He could make a killing! Whoa! I should do it! I don’t know if I can paint, but how hard can it be.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    DRAMATIC
    1.5min
    13-18
    YEARS OLD
    You a dog with your bow wow face. What you doing on my block, dog? This street is for pretty people. You ain’t pretty. You ain’t nothin’. What you going to do about it? You so scared you can’t even speak. You a skinny little thing. You look like a string bean. And I hate string beans. I hate all kinds of vegetables. You a vegetable. Do you know that’s what you are? You gay, too, I bet. You gay, aren’t you? You so gay you turn green like a string bean. Gay string bean. That yo.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    12-16
    YEARS OLD
    Mom, I’m looking for money for Chick-fil-A. Where can I find some? I know I have my allowance, but this is food. Isn’t it the parents’ responsibility to provide food and shelter for their kids? You’re the ones who brought us into the world in the first place. You should have realized we’d want to go to Chick-fil-A. Don’t they teach you that in parent school? It’s the first thing I’d put on the curriculum. Well, right after time to play wii. I know you’re cooking tonight but I have basketball practice. Besides, everyone on the tea.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    2min
    16-18
    YEARS OLD
    University applications sure want to know a lot about you, Mom. I didn't know where you got your Ph.D. so I Googled it. How come they’re so interested in you? I'm the one applying to their school. I mean, you went to college like a hundred years ago. I don't see how that’s relevant today. Do you think I can just give them a link to your website and skip over all these historical questions? They expect me to have this ridiculous G.P.A. but they’re cutting into my study time. Is that really fair? I think I’ll write a letter to the Provost and complain. Is he the head gu.......
    Price $3.99


  • FEMALE/
    FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    16-55
    YEARS OLD
    Did you know it’s illegal in the state of Alabama to charge money where dancing bears are wearing a dress? Which begs the question: Who comes up with this stuff??! And the bigger question: Why? Did someone once offend a female dancing bear? Maybe they didn’t tip her enough and her husband got PO’ed. Or perhaps they over tipped her and he got really ticked. Or maybe she was just coyote ugly and the whole place started to riot. Maybe her parents.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    DRAMATIC
    2min
    18-30
    YEARS OLD
    Dear Mom & Dad, I’m not in Jersey City anymore. I’ve been sitting in front of the computer trying to think of colorful things to write about this colorful city I am living in now and all the colorful people I am living with so bare with me a while as I try to put together something articulate for Dad and you to chew on. The last thing I want you to do is worry about me. In order for that to be the case I have to be careful what I say and how I say it which means the risk of me not saying much at all is a distinct possibility as you both know. .......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    DRAMATIC
    1min
    9-15
    YEARS OLD
    So, here’s the thing. I don’t actually know how I feel about my parents getting a divorce. Do I wish that my mom and dad still lived together? Well, yeah, I guess so. Isn’t that what every kid is supposed to want? It’s a pain packing up my stuff and going over to my da.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    COMEDIC

    16-23
    YEARS OLD
    August 24th. The day I got my driver’s permit. I was 15 and ready to show everyone how cool I was, even with my Mom riding shotgun. I walked out of the DMV staring down at the piece of plastic in my hands. “Can we go back and retake my picture?” “That depends, do you want to drive now or later?” Mom replies. I make a beeline for the driver’s side and my Mom does just about the coolest thing ever. She tosses me the keys over the car. I completely fumble, but make a quick recovery. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for. The engine roars to life and I hit the gas. 24.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    2min
    18-65
    YEARS OLD
    So, when I got fired 3 weeks, 2 days, 8 hours and 47 seconds ago, I was pretty messed up. Below rock bottom. And as I was replaying my termination over in my head, I thought, “This story sucks. It's so pathetic. It has no vroom.” I mean, fire me like a badass because if you're not going to do it with some damn compassion, then Ja.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    2min
    10-15
    YEARS OLD
    I just finished my math homework in like half an hour. That was the most productive half hour of my life! I should quit math. I’m a genius! I must be a genius if I finished so fast, right? Why do I need math? Or the rest of school, for that matter? Geniuses don’t need school, do they? Why would they, if they know everything already? I talked to one of the geniuses at the Mac Store the other day. I asked him if he was born a genius of if he became one. He said he became one from helping his Mom with her computer problems. We.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    DRAMATIC
    1min
    9-15
    YEARS OLD
    Wow, this is amazing! Just look at this! This is the coolest thing ever. When I was a little kid, my mom read me a story about the Redwood Forest, and I’ve wanted to come here ever since. Some of the trees here are so big, even when my mom and dad and brother and I all try to put our arms around one, our fingers.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    COM./DRAM.
    1.5min
    18-25
    YEARS OLD
    Think of everything we did this year. Think of how much fun we had. Think of moving in. And how awkward it was. And unpacking our stuff. And not knowing what to do the first night. Think of the hypnotist show. That dumb hypnotist show where nobody was really hypnotized but we all pretended to be hypnotized because we’re freshman in college.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    1.45min
    9-16
    YEARS OLD
    You see, Mrs. Smith, I can’t do laps today because my doctor forbids it. (Beat) No, I know what it says. See, dis-in-breath-opulus is a very serious condition that I currently have. It means that if I get out of breath that my entire system could shut down and I could faint…or die. Well, maybe not die, but there’s a good chance that if I fainted and was standing near something dangerous, say, near one of these very old, wooden, and.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    DRAMATIC
    1min
    17-25
    YEARS OLD
    They say, "If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be." But what if you love something so much that you don’t want it to come back? Because if it comes back, it’ll feel so much worse. I knew that if he couldn’t be everything I wanted him .......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    DRAMATIC

    18-30
    YEARS OLD
    It’s so still on the prairies. Eerie. Like God didn’t want humans trespassing on his domain so he designed the prairies as a gigantic “Do Not Disturb” sign. People who were born here say there’s nothing like that big prairie sky. Me, I just see bleak, barren desolation. Like I’m at the end of the earth and no one will ever know I’ve just faded into the landscape. It’s not so hard to do. I can see for miles, but there’s nothing to see. Driving down the highway is hypnotic in its austerity. My eyes play tricks on me. I keep hoping to find civil.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    COMEDIC

    15-40
    YEARS OLD
    Excuse me? Excuse me. Excuse me. There seems to be some confusion here. I ordered plain. Yes. No, it’s not. No, it’s not. No, it’s not. I saw them put cheese on it. I don’t have to open it. I saw. Can you just please have them make me a plain one? Thank-you. No, not that one. I don’t want a pre-made one. It’ll have pickles on it. The last time I got pickles, and I hate pickles. They infect the taste. You can’t even cover it with ketchup. Have them make a fresh one. Well, please ask t.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    2min
    16-40
    YEARS OLD
    So anyway, he was like, “Come on! Lets go home!” And I was like, “I don’t wanna go home! I’m having a super duper, great and fun time! All my friends are here and it’s a nice day and there’s so many things to do and see and smell!” And he was like, “Fine! 15 more minutes,” and I was like, “YES!! 15 more minutes!! Whoo hoo!!” So anyway, that’s why I’m still here. Hi, I’m Parker (Or Dotty), by the way! I probably should have introduced myself before I told you that whole story, but whatever. Poop happens! Haha. Hey, speaking of poop, I saw you take.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    2min
    8-14
    YEARS OLD
    Mom, you don’t understand! I can’t go back to school because the lunch lady hates me. Stop laughing, I’m serious! You know that mysterious “stomach flu” I had last month? Yeah, well Doctor Klein said it was probably due to nerves and Mr. Doctor guy was right, but what he didn’t know is that my nerves are also twisted with a side of rotten pudding! Yeah, that’s right, Mrs. Bootin, the lunch lady, served me expired pudding!!! I could tell because, not only was there a l.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    DRAMATIC
    2min
    16-18
    YEARS OLD
    I have never been so nervous in my life! Mom and Dad got me this tutor and she comes to the house once a week and helps me cram all this stuff into my head. I was doing okay at first, but now everything is just a jumbled mess, like I turned dyslexic overnight or something. I can barely focus. I’m breaking into a cold sweat. My whole world is riding on this on.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    2min
    18-50
    YEARS OLD
    I killed my mother today. Psych! I didn’t kill her. I just imagined it in detail. Do you think that makes me unbalanced? Oh, come on, like you’ve never thought about it. Everyone wants to strangle their mom at least once in a lifetime, right? I mean it’s not like I did it or anything. But if I had, I would have lured her into the basement. The only problem with that plan is she has a bad hip and the stairs bother her, but I’d get her down there somehow because that’s where she’d be least likely to be hea.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    COMEDIC

    15-25
    YEARS OLD
    I love signs! People write the craziest stuff on them. Sometimes they write funny things on purpose. You know, clever. Like the hair salon named “Curl up and Dye” or the sign on the funeral home that says, “Drive carefully, we’ll wait.” And sometimes there are signs that can be fun depending upon the way you interpret them. One of my personal faves is “Slow Children Crossing.” You usually see it in school zones or in the burbs. Now, what I wanna know is where.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    1.5min
    15-35
    YEARS OLD
    I am so sorry I’m late. Okay, yes, I know, I am very late. But I have a good reason. I was almost here, when I had to turn around, go back home and change my clothes. I was a mess - covered in mud from head to toe - no kidding - completely covered! Obviously, I couldn’t meet you looking like that. You should have seen me. It was so embarrassing. I stopped and looked around to see if anyone else had noticed. Well, you don’t want to look like an idiot, do yo.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    DRAMATIC

    14-17
    YEARS OLD
    Where have you been, under a rock? Haven’t you watched the news? You’ll never in a million years guess what happened to me today! You know my twin brother, Alex, right? Well, we had band practice today so we both brought our instruments and metronomes. You know, those annoying things that tick like a clock and help you keep your tempo even? So I’m minding my own business in math class trying to figure out the square root of who-knows-what when the fire alarm goes off and we all have to evacuate the building. I’m thinking, “Yeah! No more math!” And I’m standing there on the lawn e.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    DRAMATIC

    16-21
    YEARS OLD
    Did you hear that? I love the sound of the train whistle late at night. Makes me think of all those old movies with stowaway kids and vagabonds. All that adventure! Wouldn’t it be nice to just hop on a train and not know where you were headed? Fall asleep and wake up in some midwestern town ready to explore? I know, I’ve watched too much Disney Channel…but wouldn’t it be cool if you could leave everything behind and just start over? No worries about anything. Jus.......
    Price $3.99


  • MALE/
    FEMALE
    COMEDIC
    1min
    8-15
    YEARS OLD
    What do I want to be when I grow up? Why? What could it possibly matter to you? Is that what you ask every kid you meet? I think I’ve heard that question 50 times just this week. I’ve started saying that I want to be a mortician, just to see the expression on their faces. They must.......
    Price $3.99